================================================= Expat Worlds Monthly Digest ================================================= November, 2006 Vol. 8, Issue 11 .....IN THIS DIGEST..... ==== THE STORY =================== -=India - The Land of Pandemomium and Imodium=- ==== OTHER EZINES ================ ==== EW SPECIAL ================== -=Expat World Press Pass=- ==== HUMOR, TRIVIA, NEWS AND MORE... == -=Trivia=- -=News Story=- -=Jokes=- ==== THE RESOURCE TIP ============= -=Password Container 1.4=- ==== INSIDE THE CURRENT EXPAT WORLD == -=Table of Content=- ==== THE STORY ================================== INDIA - THE LAND OF PANDEMONIUM AND IMODIUM Just some 3 weeks back we at Expat World sent one of our Press Pass holders on an assignment in India. Our correspondent had previously worked in India some 18 years ago and was interested in contrasting India today and then. In this quest, he was going to cover the State of Rajasthan by traveling some 2500 km (1500 miles) driving a classic 500 CC Enfield motorcycle. Here is the report he submitted to us which we editorially dressed up to fit our space constraints. TELLING IT LIKE IT IS Arriving in New Delhi via a business class flight, (courtesy upgrade through my press pass credential) it proved to be the last moment of sanity and normal bowel movements in three weeks. The trip was loosely planned for 3 weeks, traveling with two other friends and motorcycle enthusiasts, making a rough oval shaped route from New Delhi in the east to Jaisalmer in the west with a diversion to the world famous camel market at Pushkar back to Delhi via Agra and the Taj Mahal. The purpose of this report is not a travelogue, but rather to contrast and compare, in the writers view, India of today with that of 18 years ago. Basically, it hasn't changed but in some cosmetic ways. There are certainly more imports and some fancy shops, the internet is most towns of any size but mostly dial up "at go to bed and wait for connections" speed . The broadband that I found sometimes is what the locals call as far as speed is concerned, "India Broadband" -- meaning everything, even the best is slow in India. And that is no understatement. It is hard to describe to anyone who hasn't been to India the open sewage drains, rubbish, human and animal crap on the streets, cows, sheep and camels on the streets, the complete utter chaos of getting about in India. Combine this with beggars, throngs of businesses run on the streets with the masses of people in any urban environment and you get India in my title: India -- Land of Pandemonium and Imodium. ( For readers not familiar with Imodium, it's one of the world strongest shit inhibitors , ie., anti-diarrhea medication). India is not for the faint of heart (or should I say, stomach) in the food line. I myself enjoy Indian cuisines as, varied as they are and mostly vegetarian. I must admit I craved a good steak after only about a week of no meat and even the delicious chicken tandoori found later in our trip -- remember we were in the outback, not sitting in 5 star restaurants in 5 star hotels in Delhi and the like. The problem with eating in India is not that the food is not tasty and can be spicy, it's a matter of sanitation on all ends of the culinary experience. I can say without worry of contradiction that: "the only way to not get explosives bowel movements in India is to not eat." Also you can't handle money or touch anything if at anytime you put your hands to any orifice on your body. I would have like to have made a culture in a petri dish of what microscopic creepy-crawlies were on my hands at any given time. Which brings me to a major topic of conversation every single day of the trip. RUNS THROUGH INDIA I could have entitle this story as such. For even popping Imodium like a kid pops M&M candies, let's just say you're always looking for the next bush, sewage drain, toilet to save you from embarrassing yourself, not to say anything about replacing your lower clothing. Good thing about riding through the desert of Rajasthan is that you can pull over and find a sand hill and cover up your work like a litterbox-trained cat. We we're all soon to understand why one of the locals we met on the first day of the trip said to us that, "It takes a brave man to fart in India." I won't dwell on this subject, better sometime I give some funny stories in the Crapper Rapper section of the Expat World Newsletter. To be fair in my reporting, I must say that India is a fascinating place to people watch. You will see things there that you just shake your head at in amazement. It has wonderful cultural aspects and fantastic forts, places and the like. I am mystified at how the life in the old times of 500 years ago or so in India was so ad Continued from cover story --India -- Land of Pandemonium and Imodium vanced as deduced through the Hivelis, (rich businessmens' houses, forts, palaces and the like that we visited and where it's at today. Guess the fight for survival of over a Billion Indian citizens for a piece of life in a country that until rather recently didn't allow most imports and was really aligned to the communist bloc in social actions and monetary persuasion. It has never kept up the infrastructure of a 20-21st century country. As example I read that only 8 percent of Indians have access to toilet facilities in their homes and public toilets are far and few between. Open sewage ditches running down the street are the norm in most places. The roads, hard-line telephones and traffic control systems are in complete chaos. In many areas traffic lights when they are present are virtually ignored. Given all I've said both in a positive and negative manner, The Indian people themselves are very pleasant and some of the most patient people in the world. From food through daily life necessaries and even luxuries, prices are normally very cheap by most world standards. It's only when you get above the "middle class" (12 percent of the population) as defined in India when one makes over 100 US dollar a month per year. that things get very expensive. The minuscule percent of the population that lives like the rich and famous living in $10,000 per month and up apartments, driving flashy cars, eating, drinking and entertaining only in the best of best 5-star places and being able to insulate themselves from the squalor of the average man on the street does living in India become like living in most first world nations. NO! In 18 years time, even with it's computer Industry, international outsourced clerical positions, cell phones, the internet and a change to a free market economy, the real India has not changed -- and it may be a millennium before it does in my humble opinion. See it while you can for there will never be another place like it, but don't forget the Imodium and a change of nickers. ==== OTHER EZINES & BOOKS ======================== ASIAN TIMES ONLINE Asia most trusted source for news, business,commentary and analysis from throughout Asia and our world. (www.atimes.com). ----- SURVIVAL BOOKS Go to and check it out! ----- japan-guide.com Extensive, up to date online guide on Japan living and travel related information. http://www.japan-guide.com/ ==== EW SPECIAL ================================= FREE FIRST CLASS TRAVEL, CELEBRITY STATUS, LUXURY HOTELS, ACCESS TO TOP EVENTS THE WORLD OVER... INTERESTED??? If this is for you, read on. Expat World needs you to help in overcoming its challenge of providing Expat, PT, Travel, Beat the Bureaucracy type material each month for its readers. In return we present you with the opportunity to go first class, enjoy the privileges of the rich and famous, attend events the world over free or at a fraction of the normal cost and have more fun then a barrel of monkeys. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A HEMINGWAY, WOODWARD OR BERNSTEIN TO HOLD A PRESS PASS You can enjoy all the benefits I've just described... and many more... without actually becoming a full time journalist. You don't even have to write well. You can still carry a press pass of your own and enjoy the many benefits of a card-carrying member of the press. We are offering you the chance to carry the press pass for the Expat World News International Press Corps. My name is Gene, editor and publisher of Expat World and also the president of the Expat World News International Press Corps. I want to make you a no-lose business proposition. We at Expat World need to know any and all information important to Expats, PT's, International Travelers, International Thinking People, etc. International Beat the Bureaucracy Tricks and Revelations articles and info are especially welcome. In short we need a worldwide army of people, all the time, to keep us informed on breaking news relevant to our readers. The opportunities are endless, anywhere in the world; riding down the Amazon, on a beach in the South Pacific, in exotic capitals of the world, crossing Russia on the TransSiberian Express, just about anywhere, even in Porchville, USA. You don't have to write well for the nature of "news gathering" today in the information age has changed drastically. We don't need polished articles, just your honest observations and researched facts. Start enjoying what I have done- travel the world first class, get into events where tickets are "unavailable", see and experience the unbelievable, live the good life virtually free. Our cover story on India --The land of Pandamonium and Imodium is my latest example. All you have to do is get one of our press passes and do your thing anywhere in the world. This is a serious offer for serious people. As a correspondent for Expat World News we expect you to file a report to us when you use the press pass. We place your reports on file in our in-house system for our writers to use when and if they need the material for any article they may be writing. They may even use your article under your name if you give permission. Remember though, you don't just report for us, you can present your articles to any publisher eager to buy your material. And there is serious money in selling your article to the 1000's of publications looking for material each month. When you get one of our Press Passes you have full support in that we will supply you with an assignment letter whenever requested. When you have an idea for a story or a fact finding tour or an event you want to attend, just contact Expat World, attn. Correspondent Services and we'll write you a letter certifying that our publishing company (Expat World) has assigned you to research the particular event or place. Once you have this letter, it's the easy and professional way of approaching the people you need to get you a "free ride". You may get as many assignment letters as you want, but remember, this is an exchange. You're obliged to file a report with us on your travels or research when you use the press pass. Unlike other press associations where the ANNUAL fee can be over $400, at Expat World News International Press Corps our membership fee is just US $300 for a card with a 10 year validity! Like we said, we are looking for serious people who will use the card and continue to use the card over the years for their great enjoyment, free travel and benefits, and skyrocketing status while supplying Expat World with material for its readers. Read the words of one of our newer correspondents about the benefits he received using the press pass while on an assignment: "Boy, did I use the Press Card to the max! I can honestly say my motto is now "Behold the Power of the Press Card." For application forms email us at office@expatworld.com and put "Press Pass" ==== HUMOR, TRIVIA, NEWS AND MORE... ================ NEWS STORIES Traveler ejected for smell loses legal suit BERLIN (Reuters) - A court in Germany rejected a man's compensation claim against an airline after a cabin crew ordered him off a plane because other passengers were offended by his smell, authorities said Thursday. An appeals court in the western city of Duesseldorf upheld an earlier ruling that British Airways (BA) had acted within its rights by removing the man from the aircraft after a female passenger sitting next to him complained about his smell. "The stewardess took him to one side and asked him if he could put on a fresh shirt, but they were all in the hold," a court spokesman said. "So then he was asked to leave the plane -- about two minutes before take off." BA said other passengers were upset by the smell, he added. The corporate lawyer and his wife were scheduled to return home from Hawaii via Los Angeles on a BA flight sub-contracted to American Airlines last year, and missed their connection to Germany when the incident forced them to take the next plane. Including the cost of staying an extra night in Los Angeles, the earnings he had forfeited and his wife's lost holiday time, the man calculated BA owed him nearly 2,200 euros ($2,819), and took his case to a lower court in Duesseldorf earlier this year. "The man said he couldn't help sweating after carrying three suitcases in 29 degrees (Celsius) of heat and sitting in the airport for two hours with no air conditioning," the court spokesman said. "But the court said the airline's terms and conditions made clear they could bar passengers because of their smell." The appeals court delivered a judgement Wednesday by default against the man when he failed to attend the hearing. The man, who told the court he was stuck in traffic, has the right to appeal. According to its website, American Airlines' conditions of carriage say that transport may be refused if passengers "have an offensive odor not caused by a disability or illness." British Airways stipulates that the airline may refuse to transport passengers "if carrying you or your baggage may affect the comfort of any person in the aircraft." --- San Francisco-area couple calls for global orgasm for peace SAN FRANCISCO (AP) — Two peace activists have planned a massive anti-war demonstration for the first day of winter. But they don't want you marching in the streets. They'd much rather you just stay home. The Global Orgasm for Peace was conceived by Donna Sheehan, 76, and Paul Reffell, 55, whose immodest goal is for everyone in the world to have an orgasm Dec. 22 while focusing on world peace. "The orgasm gives out an incredible feeling of peace during it and after it," Reffell said Sunday. "Your mind is like a blank. It's like a meditative state. And mass meditations have been shown to make a change." The couple are no strangers to sex and social activism. Sheehan, no relation to anti-war activist Cindy Sheehan, brought together nearly 50 women in 2002 who stripped naked and spelled out the word "Peace." The stunt spawned a mini-movement called Baring Witness that led to similar unclothed demonstrations worldwide. The couple have studied evolutionary psychology and believe that war is mainly an outgrowth of men trying to impress potential mates, a case of "my missile is bigger than your missile," as Reffell put it. By promoting what they hope to be a synchronized global orgasm, they hope to get people to channel their sexual energy into something more positive. The couple said interest appears strong, with 26,000 hits a day to their website, www.globalorgasm.org. "The dream is to have everyone in the world (take part)," Reffell said. "And if that means laying down your gun for a few minutes, then hey, all the better." --- Man fined for saying four-letter-word on flight Wed Nov 15, 9:05 AM ET SINGAPORE (Reuters) - A 65-year-old Australian man was fined S$10,000 ($6,423) by a Singapore court for uttering the word "bomb" on a flight to Indonesia, The Straits Times reported on Wednesday. Riccardo Paulin, a retiree, pleaded guilty on Tuesday to having asked a flight attendant "Where do you keep the bomb?" on a flight operated by Singapore regional carrier SilkAir to the Indonesian city of Surabaya, the newspaper said. The newspaper said he made the remark after trying to find space in the overhead lockers. Paulin was charged under the United Nations anti-terrorism regulations, which carry a maximum fine of S$100,000 or up to five years in jail or both. He apologized to the court for his remark, saying it was meant as a joke. --- Oxymoron: awfully nice ----- There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets? -- Dick Cavett, mocking the TV-violence debate ----- If love is blind, then why do they make lingerie? ----- I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. -- Frank Sinatra ----- Just 0.3% of men are able to give themselves a blow-job. The remaining 99.7% have probably tried... ----- Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie, each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous. A night of tall tales begins. The first says, "I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground, by the horns, with my bare hands." The second can't stand to be bested. "Why that's nothing. I was walking down the trail yesterday and a fifteen foot rattler slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that snake with my bare hands, bit its head off, and sucked the venom down in one gulp. And I'm still here today." The third cowboy remained silent, slowly stirring the coals with his penis. ----- A drill instructor at Airborne school was lecturing a group of new troops on making a proper jump. He told them: "When I yell Stand Up, you Stand Up. When I yell hook up, you hook up. When you go out the door, yell 'Geronimo!' and wait for your shoot to open. Got It? Good, get in the plane." After a short flight he yelled "Stand UP! Hook UP!" and began shoving the troops out the door. Just after the last trooper exited, the sergeant shut the door. Suddenly, he heard someone knocking on the door. He opened it to see a private flapping his arms trying to imitate a seagull. The private looked him in the eye and asked What did you say that SOB's name was? ==== THE RESOURCE TIP ============================ PASSWORD CONTAINER 1.4 Password Container allows you to keep all your passwords and codes in one safe place. Your sensitive information will be protected using newest reliable password-based encryption method. Password Container editing interface is user-friendly, it permits working with clipboard, lets you create several password databases, offers possibility to create backup copies of password lists etc. Use Password Container and you will never lose an important password ever. Go to . ==== INSIDE THE CURRENT EXPAT WORLD =============== EXPAT WORLD NEWSLETTER (VOL.18 ISSUE 09) Table of Content: - INDIA - THE LAND OF PANDEMONIUM AND IMODIUM - YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A HEMINGWAY, WOODWARD OR BERNSTEIN TO HOLD A PRESS PASS - EXPAT WORLD'S WORLD OF PRIVACY - WIRETAPPING FROM THE MOUTH OF A TELCOM INFORMER - EXPAT WORLD'S WORLD OF TRAVEL - 18 NATIONS OPEN THEIR TERRITORY FOR THE "IRON SILK ROAD" - AROUND THE WORLDWITH EXPAT WORLD - THE UNITED COMMUNIST STATES OF AMERICA - NEW EXPAT INTERNET BANK LAUNCHED - PT VALUES - BYE BYE BIG BROTHER - INTERNATIONAL SNIPS & CLIPS - THE KEY TO YOUR PERSONAL SUCCESS - OFFSHORE BANKING ON THE INTERNET - CRAPPER RAPPER - JEWISH HUMOUR YOU MISSING SO MUCH Each week the EXPAT WORLD DIGEST gives you just a smattering of what you can find in the EXPAT WORLD newsletter that we produce once a month. Why not get the whole story and subscribe now to our electronic version for just US $30 per year. Go to our website: www.expatworld.net to sign up. ********************************************************************* EXPAT WORLD - the newsletter of international living URL - http://www.expatworld.net Email - office@expatworld.net ---------- End of Expat World Digest --------------------------------