================================================= Expat Worlds Bi-Monthly Digest ================================================= 21 February, 2006 Vol. 8, Issue 03 .....IN THIS DIGEST..... ==== THE STORY =================== -=The Hash House Harriers=- ==== OTHER EZINES ================ ==== EW SPECIAL ================== -=Need a Second Nationality/Passport?=- ==== HUMOR, TRIVIA, NEWS AND MORE... == -=Trivia=- -=News Story=- -=Jokes=- ==== THE RESOURCE TIP ============= -=QwikAlarm 1.0=- ==== INSIDE THE CURRENT EXPAT WORLD == -=Table of Content=- ==== THE STORY ================================== THE HASH HOUSE HARRIERS A Drinking Club With a Running Problem But Also the Levelers of Society. Around the world and in particular, Asia, there are groups of high placed expat executives, the rich and the famous, oil field workers, bawdy housewives and people of every description getting together for a "run" after work one evening a week. To call the HHH (Hash House Harriers) a running club is an insult to them for it's more a beer drinking club with a running problem. Let me give you a thumbnail history lesson of the HHH. In 1938 in the sleepy little town of Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia there were a small group of guys (expats of the British Isle variety) doing their colonial thing in Malaysia (then Called Malaya) who used to meet and hang around a hash house (of the food variety, not the drug stuff). They decided that from all the greasy food and libations they were having at their regular meetings together that they should get some exercise to decrease the size of their bloating expat waists. With a few modifications and some perfections, the running they proposed to be their exercise routine developed into a sort of chase through the jungles and backwater areas of Malaysia and now the world. Simply stated you have a hare who gets a headstart on the pack of dogs (the runners) who lays a trail (and false trails) for the pack to follow. The trail is laid with periodic dispersing of shredded paper or flour as the hare tries to deceive the runners onto false trails in getting back to the starting point of the run. Usually, the run starts at the beer truck, winds through the jungle, outback, wilderness for about an hour or more before ending at the beer truck, where large quantities of beer are quaffed while the circle is formed to conduct Hash business of all types like silly child-like singing and drinking and antics such as sitting ass-bare on blocks of ice, etc. Now what does this all accomplish. We'll it brings together the expat pillars of commerce along with the common working expat lout to get together on a level footing and in a single classless group to exchange ideas. It's a society leveler like no others I've seen in 35 years living the expat life. The Hash, as big as it is today with "kennels" being in most every country in the world, is still one of the best kept secrets in the civilized world despite the often raucous presence and increasing amount of media exposure. But within the Hashing world, people live and die for this passionate pursuit. Hash is a noun, a verb and adjective ... a word loaded with meaning that is hard to describe unless you've run a few Hashes. Are Hashers runners who drink, or drinkers who run? Absolutely! Let me give you one of the better descriptions of the Hash that I have ever seen. Toothprick (Hashers are all given a Hash name that characterize them) from the Sydney Hash wrote in the Sydney Hash House Harriers 1983 yearbook: "Hashing to me is the irreconcilable conflict between opposites, the running and the drinking, the pain and the pleasure, the thirst and the bucket, the athlete versus the non-athlete, the yinning and yanging, the giving and the getting, the action and the inaction, the something and the nothing. Furthermore, we are a club that has no official sporting ground, no spectators, no prizes, and no winners (although, admittedly, a lot of losers!). There is no high-water mark in Hashing. Even describing the action itself is blasphemous, so vulgar words like r*n, r*nner, and r*unning have been censored to avoid offense." WHO RUNS THE HASH A better question would be who doesn't run the hash! The hash has in it's ranks scientists from the Antarctica, porn stars in Los Angeles, mining engineers in the outback of Australia, astronauts, prison warders, the odd person with letters after his name having had afternoon tea with the Queen, retired military colonels and generals, active marines about to go fight the War Against Terror, teachers, headmasters, superintendents, oil field trash, high judges, prime ministers, members of parliament, top CEO's of multinational companies, whores and housewives, doctors and lawyers (lawyers being the lowest sector of society admitted to the Hash). But somehow they are all the same in the Hash. There are no strangers in the Hash - just Hashers you haven't met. ON ON The hash is multigenerational Though some thought that Hashing might be a one-generation event, in an age of stifling political correctness, temperance and sexual restraint, the Hash is still spreading like a nasty virus over the internet. But, like the WWW, nobody owns the HHH. The thousands of active kennels in 135 countries, with a best guess of 250,000 Hashers worldwide, is ultimately a headless chicken. And, any self-respecting Hasher will tell you, there are no rules in the Hash.... but there are violations of tradition. So are Hashers antiestablishment or have they become the establishment? A Hasher would say: "Who gives a shit!" There is a book out there telling you everything you want to know about the Hash and much you probably didn't want to know called "Hare of the Dog" by Stu 'The Colonel' Lloyd. Get it! It's a fascinating read on the history of the Hash and fill with gut busting tales of what has happened on individual Hash runs, InterHashes and general hell-raising of the Hash. HASH SHITS and ALL In closing EW's story of the Hash -the Expat Leveler, we present a few tales of Hash Shits and other humorous events that have happened over the years on the Hash. A Hash Shit is a violation of tradition in the nature of a royal f@#k up that takes place during or preparing for a run. * There was the run around the Bursewood Casino in Perth, Australia. It was a run around and not through as on a previous occasion. The trail lead to five or six hitherto unknown - to me at least - brothels. The trail lead straight up to the smoky glass doors, which opened to reveal a pristine white-carpeted establishment. Whatever! ON! ON! was called as the duty officer at the brothel called out for the madam, who of course was in on it. "Go through please," she shouted. Running down the corridors, we were opening doors on complete strangers in the middle of the act, and yelled ON! ON! Between the six whorehouses, I've never seen a pack be more spread out. We even lost the back-sweeper! * Bentabeak from Ipswitch, Queensland, Australia is famous for wearing a WWI great coat and helmet, and playing the harmonica. In his act, he starts with a huge harmonica, then progresses down to a smaller and smaller ones until he is left with a tiny little one. He then bends over and puts it up his ass and "plays". (unknown to the circle, he has another tiny one in his mouth.) The pack invariably goes wild, at which he says "Encore" and pretends to take the harmonica from his ass and puts it to his lips for another rousing rendition! * In Hobart, Tasmania InterHash 2000, we were given the big ceremonial welcome at Government House. Big Mistake! For a start they left the Official Guest Book out for us to sign, so there were all these names like Cuntagious, Fellatio, etc. Then under comments, we dished out things like "No Piss". Pretty much everyone dittoed this, although one elaborated our displeasure a little further with the comment based on the pre-amble: "The Laucesto Mayor gave us piss! We wonder if they changed the old guest book or just glued those pages together for future visiting dignitaries? * At Darwin Nash Hash, on Friday night, there was this elderly Hasher who had some interest from a Harriette for their own personal On, On, On. So he paid a visit to the Gents to load up on the required protection. He put his coins in the condom machine. but came up 20 cents short. Bugger! He turned his pockets inside out, checked every possible hiding place for a coin, but nothing. He then went back to ask the bartender for 20 cents change for the machine and the bartender handed it over to the old guy with a knowing wink. Back in the Gents, he put the last prized coin in... nothing. Just then another hasher came in and offered to help. Then another hasher. Then another. With each successive Hasher, the level of interest, attention and aggression, rose. Soon there were five guys helping out. Colored, ribbed or spiral, ol fella? they joked. "Are the spiral ones threaded left or right?' he asked. Then another Hasher joined the fray. Next thing, the condom machine was ripped from the wall and violently shaken, turned upside down and smashed. That did the trick - out popped a packet of condoms and they sent the old guy on his merry way. As of Sunday night at the end of the Nash Hash, no one had spotted the old bugger since. maybe those spiral condoms were threaded the opposite way. * Ephesus in Turkey has a toga run in June each year through the ancient Roman ruins. All these tourists see is about 100 guys running around in togas wondering what the hell is going on. * In 1989 the Guadiro H3 from Spain held their inaugural Incontinent Hash. This involves Hashing in Morocco, Gibralter and Spain -- three different countries and two continents -- on the same day. We could go on and on about: The 'trail laid through a Falkland Islands minefield and how Lt-Gen Gordon Bennett was evacuated by Hashers from Singapore or the Rome Hash t-shirts blessed by the Pope or The entire pack of runners lost in a Malaysian jungle overnight or The hares mortared in Yemen and shot by a drug-lord in Thailand. The Harriette who was married on the Hash and had a baby without missing a run. A Belgian's fixation with anatomically correct rubber chickens. The PNG police with M16s escorting a Hash convoy. The Hashers who escaped the Iraqi invasion of Kuwait. How Hashers got names like Hughie Blaaaaaaaaarh, Dog Spunk Gozler, Mellow Foreskin Cheese and Grouchy Tiger Hidden Tampon. The waiter carrying a tea-tray and the Welshman carrying a rugby ball in the Libyan desert.' The hash held 39,000 feet over Europe. The Israeli beer check just outside Cairo. The Hashers who parachuted to beer in Hong Kong. The dead Foreign Legionnaire given a 21-bum salute. The American Hasher who dragged his cryogenically frozen dog around on a skateboard. Plus, there a many more surprises in the Hash featuring Bill Clinton, John Wayne Bobbit, The Sultan of Oman and the King of Tonga. There are Hashing experience in this book "Hare of the Dog" from Alaska to Antarctica, Dubai to Dubbo, Helsinki to Hobart, Zagreb to Zimbabwe. Check out your nearest Hash and do find for yourself if the Hash is a running club with a drinking problem or a drinking club with a running problem. You're bound to have many laughs. Check out www.hashhouseharriers,com ==== OTHER EZINES & BOOKS ======================== ASIAN TIMES ONLINE Asia most trusted source for news, business,commentary and analysis from throughout Asia and our world. (www.atimes.com). ----- SURVIVAL BOOKS Go to and check it out! ----- japan-guide.com Extensive, up to date online guide on Japan living and travel related information. http://www.japan-guide.com/ ==== EW SPECIAL ================================= NEED A SECOND NATIONALTY/PASSPORT? Expat World knows of a program that has been running for over 4 years now and has added many new citizens and passport holders. We have heard nothing but good reports about it. In our humble opinion, it is the best value for money today in securing a second pp/nationality that is in all the computer data bases and comes from a government source. IT has all the additional bells and whistles, is time-proven to be hassle free. It also has very good visa free entry to most of the world's countries. No matter what your reasons for seeking second citizenship, you won't find a better deal. The time it takes is about 3 weeks from the time application, photos and payment is in hand. Want to know more? Email: office@expatworld.net with pp/nat in the subject heading. Note: EW does not sell pps, we act only as the advertiser for companies working directly with gov authorities to provide what is on offer. ==== HUMOR, TRIVIA, NEWS AND MORE... ================ NEWS STORIES Air travelers seen losing 30 million bags in 2006 GENEVA (Reuters) - Some 30 million pieces of airline luggage -- about one percent of the bags passengers check in -- will go astray this year, the air travel industry's information technology systems provider SITA said on Tuesday. The Geneva-based company, which tracks baggage in 220 countries and territories, said virtually all missing bags would be returned to their owners within an average of 31 hours after being reported missing. Around 204,000 pieces -- a minute proportion of the 3 billion bags expected to be checked in at world airports by around 2 billion passengers in 2006 -- would never be found after getting lost in the system or stolen. Francesco Violante, managing director of SITA INC, the commercial arm of SITA, said the air transport industry spent about $2.5 billion a year tracking down and returning luggage and compensating passengers for lost items. While the present rapid growth in air travel -- about 6 percent a year -- is welcome, Violante said, "it has to be better managed if airlines and airports want to improve the passenger experience by eliminating delays from the system." SITA, which along with the global airlines body IATA operates a baggage-tracing system used by 391 carriers, issued its report for an exhibition in Paris. More and more bags are going missing because of airport congestion, short transition times, frequent switches from one airline to another during a journey, tight security rules and rising passenger and baggage volumes, SITA said in the report. More sophisticated systems linking bags and owners and more self-service check-in kiosks could help the industry keep better tabs on luggage, SITA added. The report said the chief cause of late-arriving bags was mishandling when luggage is transferred between flights. This accounted for 61 percent of hold-ups in 2005. Next came failure to load bags at the original departure point, which made up 15 percent of delays. The attaching of incorrect destination tags at check-in accounted for just 3 percent, according to the report. --- WWII corpses kept in Czech factory THOUSANDS of corpses of German soldiers killed in World War II are being kept in boxes in a factory because German authorities don't have enough money to bury them. The exhumed bodies have been kept for three years in the rundown factory 90km north of Prague on the border with eastern Germany. They are guarded by police who are waiting for the bodies to be moved. A photographer at the site said the remains - an estimated 4000 sets in total - lie in small black boxes as they wait for a new burial site. The German wartime graves association led a project in the mid-1990s to exhume the remains, which include soldiers who fought across eastern Europe in the war, with plans to bury them in a Prague cemetery until a lack of funds halted the plan. "We are very sorry, but our People's Association for Care for Wartime Graves has run out of money, so I cannot say what will be done with the remains," Sebastian Gerhardt, a spokesman for the German embassy in Prague was quoted as saying in the Mlada Fronta Dnes newspaper. He was not immediately available to comment on the report. --- Tax rebel sends threatened gnomes into hiding Mon Mar 20, 10:39 AM ET LONDON (Reuters) - A disabled council tax rebel has sent her collection of garden gnomes into hiding to avoid them being seized by local officials. The officials had threatened to take the gnomes from widow Gwynneth Lester in Fareham, about 70 miles southwest of London, after she refused to pay up. Lester, 57, refuses to pay the tax which finances local services because, she says, she gets nothing for it. Her rebellion has landed her in court with a demand to pay up some 670 pounds -- in cash or in kind -- or face prison. "Well, they won't be taking the garden gnomes now because I have given them away," she told Reuters Monday. "In fact they won't be getting anything that I have collected over the years because I have given it all away to keep it from them." --- Oxymoron: sound of silence ----- When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer. -- Postpetroleum Guzzler, Dave Barry ----- Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before. ----- American University Grading Procedures Here is a list of the ways professors here at the American University grade their final exams: DEPT OF STATISTICS: - All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve. DEPT OF PSYCHOLOGY: - Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind. DEPT OF HISTORY: - All students get the same grade they got last year. DEPT OF RELEGION: - Grade is determined by God. DEPT OF PHILOSOPHY: - What is a grade? LAW SCHOOL: - Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A. DEPT OF MATHEMATICS: - Grades are variable. DEPT OF COMPUTER SCIENCE: - If and only if the student is present for the final and the student has accumulated a passing grade then the student will receive an A else the student will not receive an A. MUSIC DEPARTMENT: - Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the instructor play the corresponding note (+ and - would be sharp and flat respectively). DEPT OF PHYSICAL EDUCATION: - Everybody gets an A. ----- A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?" "My son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, and a contempt for your fellow man." "Well, I'll be damned," the drunk muttered, returning to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?" "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does." ==== THE RESOURCE TIP ============================ QwikAlarm 1.0 Never miss important appointments again while working at the computer. QwikAlarm helps you keep track of time when you are busy. Quick and easy and best of all, free. The computer timer, alarm clock and calendar all in one. Set the timer to tell you when an amount of time has passed or use the alarm to tell you when its time to go. Even set up events in the future with the appointment calendar. Download it at . ==== INSIDE THE CURRENT EXPAT WORLD =============== EXPAT WORLD NEWSLETTER (VOL.18 ISSUE 03) Table of Content: - THE HASH HOUSE HARRIERS - AROUND THE OFFSHORE WORLD - EXPAT WORLD'S WORLD OF TRAVEL - 1984 REVISITED: HOW GOVERNMENT MANIPULATES THE MASSES - THE REPORT NO GOVERNMENT WANTS PRINTED - LETTER FROM AMERICA - THE BUSINESS OF SEX - YOUR PRIVACY WORLD WITH EXPAT WORLD - INTERNATIONAL SNIPS & CLIPS - BRAVE NUDE WORLD - JAKARTA, INDONESIA - THERE MAY BE ENOUGH WATER TO FLUSH THE CRAPPER - IS IT THE NFL OR IS IT THE NBA? - OPERATION BLOWDOWN - FUNNIES YOU MISSING SO MUCH Each week the EXPAT WORLD DIGEST gives you just a smattering of what you can find in the EXPAT WORLD newsletter that we produce once a month. Why not get the whole story and subscribe now to our electronic version for just US $30 per year. Go to our website: www.expatworld.net to sign up. ********************************************************************* EXPAT WORLD - the newsletter of international living URL - http://www.expatworld.net Email - office@expatworld.net ---------- End of Expat World Digest --------------------------------