================================================= Expat Worlds Bi-Monthly Digest ================================================= 27 September, 2005 Vol. 7, Issue 16 .....IN THIS DIGEST..... ==== THE STORY =================== -=Around the World with Expat World=- ==== OTHER EZINES ================ ==== EW SPECIAL ================== -="No-Name" ATM Bank Card=- ==== HUMOR, TRIVIA, NEWS AND MORE... == -=Trivia=- -=News Story=- -=Jokes=- ==== THE RESOURCE TIP ============= -=WorldTime 6.5=- ==== INSIDE THE CURRENT EXPAT WORLD == -=Table of Content=- ==== THE STORY ================================== AROUND THE WORLD WITH EXPAT WORLD BELIZE - Paradise on $450 per month - Bill and Claire Gray are up too it again. They are presenting their wildly successful Belize Relocation Tour this winter. Read their latest press release and then if interested contact office@expatworld.net with Belize Relocation in the subject heading and we will put you in touch with Bill and Claire and put in a good word for you to get you on the tour. The PRESS RELEASE: Greetings from Belize! -- We're getting lots of calls and emails asking if we still have space available on our winter Belize Relocation Tour. The answer is yes, even though we've had a lot of you reserve space since we announced our tour date earlier this year, we were able to book extra hotel rooms. Actually, it's even easier for you to join us this year. We have a new payment plan available. Instead of a 50% deposit at the time of reservation and the balance payable in December, you can send a smaller monthly payment from August until December. Each month, you'll receive an online Paypal invoice that you can pay by either credit card or checking account transfer. Or, if you prefer, you can also mail us your payment. If you'd like to use our monthly payment plan, tell us so in the details box on the tour application form. Contact office@expatworld.net and he will link you up with us. See you in Belize! Bill and Claire Gray - Author's of Belize Retirement Guide: How to Live in a Tropical Paradise on $450 a Month SCOTLAND -- Smart Dog -- A black labrador named Archie lost his owner at a lonely Scottish station. BUT he proved his well-trained pedigree when he jumped aboard the first train home. Not only did the dog catch the right train, he got off at the right station and walked home. FRANCE -- France bans 5 airlines in its airspace. -- Acting in response to a series of aviation disasters, France released a list of five airlines banned from its airspace for safety reasons. The banned airlines are: Air Koryo from North Korea, Air Saint-Thomas from the United States, International Air service from Liberia, Air Mozambique (LAM) and Phuket Airlines of Thailand. JAPAN -- The don is named -- Japan's biggest underworld syndicate, the Yamaguchi-gumi, appointed its new don at the end of August 2005, making it the first change of power for this dread group in 16 years. Kenichi Shinoda, an ex-gang boss in Nagoya and the syndicate's former number 2, became the sixth head of the 90-year-old gang in a ceremony attended by 100 members in Kobe. LONDON -- Smart sense -- In the first year after the British government downgraded marijuana to a class C drug, arrests for possession fell by 36 percent saving up to 199,000 police hours without any rise in consumption among young people. GERMANY -- Work for the unemployed -- Three years ago when the German government legalized prostitution, brothel owners began submitting payroll taxes and providing health insurance. Now they want something in return they are asking unemployment offices to help find then new girls. The government says it would never force anyone to become a hooker, but welfare reforms REQUIRE women who have been unemployed for at least a year to take any available job or lose their benefits. PHILIPPINES -- Letter to the editor -- I find your report that it costs 5,000 pesos (US $93) to hire an assassin in the Philippines. My wife assures me that she can have me put away by any number of likely lads whenever she wishes for an absolute maximum of 2000 pesos ($37) PAPUA NEW GUINA -- Safety first -- When you read the safety instruction card on a domestic flight within Papua New Guinea and you read "go bugarupyu mas rausim fols tit you undersatnd that: a) your life vest is located under the seat, (b insufficient cabin pressure will not accommodate silicon implants, (c in event of a crash landing, you must remove your false teeth. Find answer at bottom of the page. USA -- WASPs can spell -- Ever since Balu Natarajan, the son of Indian immigrants, won the US National Spelling Bee in 1985, children of Indian decent have flocked to the annual contest. This year, the top four finishers were Indian-Americans, as were the champions in five of the last seven years. SWEDEN -- smelly herring --The world's first museum devoted entirely to fermented herring opened in the fishing village of Skeppsmain. The herring reeks so badly that even Swedes recommend that tins of the stuff be opened outdoors. "This is the only place in the world where herring are eaten this way," say the museum director. "We want to show off our culture." ANSWER Papua New Guinea= (c) BRAZIL -- Why Take an Amazon Cruise ? -- An Amazon cruise is the ultimate jungle adventure. From the endless green carpet of tree tops that make up the rainforest to the exotic wildlife that inhabits the waters of the mighty Amazon River, an Amazon cruise will reveal an awe-inspiring ecosystem that is both captivating and educational.. If you've ever wanted to see herds of pink dolphins in their natural habitat, or uncover unique medicinal plants found nowhere else in the world, an Amazon cruise could be just the type of vacation that you are looking for ! When choosing your Amazon cruise you'll find that you are presented with two distinct choices of cruise vacation. If you're looking to tour the Amazon from the comfort of a large luxury cruise liner, Amazon cruises leaving from the city of Manaus in the heart of the Amazon Rainforest are ideal.. Manaus, at the confluence of the Negro and Amazon Rivers represents the furthest point upstream that large Amazon cruise liners can venture. Here, the Amazon is 11kms wide, and it is the main port from where many of the larger cruise liners set sail.. The second Amazon cruise option offers travelers the opportunity to explore the head of the Amazon River in Eastern Peru. Here, some 6,000kms west of the River's exit point into the Atlantic Ocean, the Amazon ecosystem is at its most diverse. The river is much narrower here, so Amazon cruise crafts are smaller, taking the form of riverboats with a capacity to hold no more than 50 or 60 passengers. The favored port of departure and return on a Peru Amazon cruise is located at the city of Iquitos. Most passengers arrive at Iquitos by air on an internal flight from Lima - the capital of Peru. An unforgettable adventure No matter where your Amazon cruise departs from, what you'll see and hear along the way will dazzle, entertain and often render you speechless! You could take in a shore excursion where you'll meet a local shaman in a remote Amazonian village, or perhaps you'll go trekking in the jungle on a quest to discover rare species of plant and animal. From the cruise boat too the Amazon is full of surprises! Imagine coming face to face with the smallest monkey in the world as it dangles from a tree branch close to your boat, or watching the mesmerizing display of a shimmering six-foot Golden Dourada one of the most beautiful freshwater fish in the world. It really does make for an unforgettable experience. By Metty Metcalfe EW note: Metty Metcalfe is the webmaster for A to Z Cruises which is the No 1. resource for Amazon Cruise related Information on the Internet. Be sure to visit his site here: http://www.azcruises.com/amazoncruise/ CANADA -- the USA's best friendly neighbor -- 37% of Canadians identified "terrorism" as the greatest threat facing their nation; another 37% said the greatest threat was the "U.S. foreign policy," HUNGARY -- Pretty legs only -- A district mayor has recently proposed a dress code for City hall employees under which only women with "pretty legs" can wear short skirts. Under his proposal both women and men who don't have pretty legs would have to wear blazers or suits and leather shoes all year long. He says the code is necessary for there are to many fat and or ugly legs being exposed. USA -- Complete politician double speak bull shit -- Recently the US legislators voted themselves a large increase in salary. This comment was made in the debate before the vote. "It's not a pay raise. It's an adjustment so that we're not losing our purchasing power." Came from the mouth of House Majority Leader Tom Delay on a vote to increase congressional salaries. THE WORLD -- He's been everywhere -- The world according to John Clouse, a member of the Traveler's Century Club, who has visited 315 of the earth's 316 countries, territories and islands: Worst mosquitoes: New Guinea. Leave a pinkie unprotected and the bastards will riddle you. Scariest place: Ghana, late 1960s. The country was in revolt, and kids with bloodshot eyes and automatic weapons knocked on my door. They cut me a deal: two bottles of whiskey for my life. Happiest people: Russians when they're drunk-a redundant statement. Friendliest people: Scots. Least friendly people: The French, before they get to know you. My favorite people: The French, once their hostile façade comes down. Best steak: Argentina. Best meal for a buck: Dim sum in Hong Kong has every imaginable delicacy. What I won't eat: Dog. Never. Harshest local rot gut: Latvian Black Balsam is just poison. But if you can get it down, it's a great buzz. Sexiest women: In the region of Moldavia, in the Carpathian Mountains, the women are splendid-tall, thin, great asses. There's nothing else in Moldavia. Ugliest women: The Hutus of Burundi got screwed in the looks department. Easiest women: Steubenville, Ohio always had the best whorehouses. Least pleasant language: German can break the ears off a stone statue. Hell on earth: Calcutta. I looked out my hotel window and saw a man sleeping on the street. When I rang the front desk to express my concern, the clerk said, "Oh, he's not asleep. He's dead." Heaven: Lake Naivasha, Kenya must be what the Garden of Eden looked like. ==== OTHER EZINES & BOOKS ======================== ASIAN TIMES ONLINE Asia most trusted source for news, business,commentary and analysis from throughout Asia and our world. (www.atimes.com). ----- SURVIVAL BOOKS Go to and check it out! ----- japan-guide.com Extensive, up to date online guide on Japan living and travel related information. http://www.japan-guide.com/ ==== EW SPECIAL ================================= OUR NEWEST HOT PRODUCT A $300,000 monthly "No-Name" ATM Bank Card -- An anonymous way to use YOUR money. Expat World in full cooperation with a premier provider of banking instruments is please to be one of the very few organizations offering this new product - the PTCard. This product is a must for those who cherish their financial privacy. For details go to . ==== HUMOR, TRIVIA, NEWS AND MORE... ================ NEWS STORIES Hungary drivers to get lemons and apples BUDAPEST (Reuters) - Bad drivers in eastern Hungary will be left with a sour taste in their mouths next month when school students will accompany traffic police and hand out pieces of lemon along with a fine. Good drivers will be rewarded with an apple during the month-long campaign in Szabolcs-Szatmar-Bereg county, state news agency MTI reported Thursday. "A penalty coming from a kid for breaking rules generates a stronger feeling of guilt among adults than a simple fine," county police spokesman Gergely Fulop said. Szabolcs-Szatmar-Bereg, about 200 km (125 miles) from Budapest, is the center of Hungary's fruit industry. --- Dog wins right to vote THE New Zealand election has been hit by canine controversy, after it emerged a dog had been among those eligible to cast a vote in last weekend's poll. 'Toby Russell Rhodes', a four-year-old Jack Russell, was registered by his owner, Peter Rhodes, as a protest against excessive bureaucracy. He listed the dog's date of birth as July 4, 1977, his equivalent in human years, and his occupation as "rodent exterminator". He also provided a paw print as proof of identity. Registering to vote is compulsory in New Zealand, although voting is not - and Mr Rhodes said his four-legged friend had not actually cast a ballot. However, the authorities have failed to see the funny side. "It's an offence and whoever has done it will be in the hands of the police, said electoral officer Murray Wicks said. --- New record for most Valentines sent to guinea pig LONDON (Reuters) - Sooty has set a new world record for the most valentine cards sent to a guinea pig. The three-year-old guinea pig from Wales received 206 cards from as far away as New Zealand to gain a bizarre entry in the latest edition of Guinness World Records published Thursday. Sooty was joined in the ranks of the world's weirdest and wackiest achievers by Briton Paul Hunn who took the record for the world's largest burp. Louder than a pile driver, his burps can be heard from a distance of 30 yards. Not to be outdone, Canadian Christa Rasanayagam set a new record when accompanied up the aisle by no less than 79 bridesmaids aged from one to 79. American Ashrita Furman found yet more Guinness immortality by pushing an orange one mile with his nose in 24 minutes and 36 seconds. Furman is no stranger to Guinness, laying claim to 94 official records with such bizarre feats as climbing Mount Fuji on a pogo stick, underwater rope jumping and lighting 27,000 candles on a birthday cake in New York. ----- (We received the below from one of our readers) COMPARISION PROUD TO BE AN INDIAN Hurricane Katrina (USA) V/S Mumbai Rains (India) - couldn't stop making this comparison ! inches of rain in New Orleans due to hurricane Katrina... 18 inches of rain in Mumbai (July 27th).... 37.1 population of New Orleans... 484,674 population of Mumbai.... 12,622,500 deaths in New Orleans within 48 hours of Katrina...100 deaths in Mumbai within 48 hours of rain.. 37. number of people to be evacuated in New Orleans... entire city..wohh number of people evacuated in Mumbai...10,000 Known cases of shooting and violence in New Orleans...Countless Known cases of shooting and violence in Mumbai.. NONE Time taken for US army to reach New Orleans... 48 hours Time taken for Indian army and Navy to reach Mumbai...12 hours status 48 hours later...New Orleans is still waiting for relief, army and electricity status 48 hours later..Mumbai is back on its feet and is business is as usual USA...world's most developed nation India...third world country.. --- Oxymoron: Head Butt ----- "If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns." -- Edward Abbey ----- Shin - Device for finding furniture in the dark. ----- Never tell your computer that you're in a hurry. ----- If women don't fool around, and men do fool around, who are the men fooling around with? ----- A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, "May I help you?" The farmer said, "Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorce's." The attorney said, "well do you have any grounds?" The farmer said, "Yea, I got about 140 acres." The attorney said, " No, you don't understand, do you have a case?" The farmer said, "No, I don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere." The attorney said, "No you don't understand, I mean do you have a grudge?" The farmer said, "Yea I got a grudge, that's where I park my John Deere." The attorney said, "No sir, I mean do you have a suit?" The farmer said, "Yes sir, I got a suit. I wear it in church on Sundays." The exasperated attorney said, "Well sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?" The farmer said, "No sir, we both get up about 4:30." Finally, the attorney says, "Okay, let me put it this way. "WHY DO YOU WANT A DIVORCE?" And the farmer says, "Well, I can never have a meaningful conversation with her." ==== THE RESOURCE TIP ============================ WorldTime 6.5 Free Big promotion, Complete Full Version Previously sold for 29.95 and now it is absoutly free. Accurate Time Around the World Quickly view the time of any location in the world. Automatically set time using Atomic Clocks. Eliminate embarrassing phone calls at inappropriate times. WorldTime is ideal for synchronizing schedules, meetings, events, and communication between time zones. It is a must for businesses that contact associates around the globe, for individuals who contact distant relatives, or the curious who want to know the time surrounding world events. All 24-time zones. Covers Thousands of countries and cities. Download it at . ==== INSIDE THE CURRENT EXPAT WORLD =============== EXPAT WORLD NEWSLETTER (VOL.17 ISSUE 07) Table of Content: - THE MEANING OF PTism - BITS & PIECES - THE SOURCE - OVERSEAS BRATS - JURY SALARIES - ONLINE MINISTRY - JUST A HEARTBEAT FROM GETTING IT UP - GET YOUR MONEY OUT OF THE COUNTRY BEFORE YOUR COUNTRY GETS THE MONEY OUT OF YOU - BANKS TAKING NOTE AS EXPATS SEND $300 HOME - THE EXPAT WORLD KNOWLEDGE BOX - THE POWER OF GOOGLE - LETTERS FROM AMERICA - LIVING IN CAMPIONE - EXPAT WORLD'S WORLD OF BUSINESS - INTERNATIONAL SNIPS AND CLIPS - FUNNING YOUR WAY TO RETIREMENT - AROUND THE WORLD With EXPAT WORLD - CRAPPER RAPPER - THIS IS NO CRAP - LOONEY LAWS YOU MISSING SO MUCH Each week the EXPAT WORLD DIGEST gives you just a smattering of what you can find in the EXPAT WORLD newsletter that we produce once a month. Why not get the whole story and subscribe now to our electronic version for just US $30 per year. Go to our website: www.expatworld.net to sign up. ********************************************************************* EXPAT WORLD - the newsletter of international living URL - http://www.expatworld.net Email - office@expatworld.net ---------- End of Expat World Digest --------------------------------